Thank you!

     I’ve been meaning to write this piece for a long time. There are many people who deserve a long overdue thank you! First, I received the most amazing birthday gift this year. It was a journal full of well wishes from friends from high school, university, Shad Valley, Science Expo and even kind strangers. It’s such a personal gift and honestly words cannot describe how touched I am. A special thanks to Steph for putting this together! And of course thank you everyone for your encouraging words and birthday wishes!!!! They really mean the world to me!

Here are some pictures of the amazing journal:

     Secondly, I have two wonderful chemo angels, one from England and one from Germany who send me very special things through the mail every week. We’re grown to know each other over the past few months, but they started their kindness as complete strangers to me. I’ve received chocolates, flowers, tea, photos and numerous cards. You have no idea how excited I get when I get these special gifts in the mail. It really takes my mind off the next doctor’s appointment or the weird pain I’ve been getting. Thank you Manuela and Rachel! Both of you are truly very special to me.

Strength

     There is something very special strength in each on of us. Most of the time, it’d hidden underneath all our insecurities and anxieties, but it’s there. What I’m talking about is an unshakable inner strength that is the core to the human spirit. It’s not just found in a special group of people like soldiers, or the rich, or the famous. It’s in every single one of us. Since starting this battle with cancer, I’ve been complimented on how I have handled the situation. The truth is, I haven’t done anything special. Why do I say this? Because I’ve witnessed so many incredible journeys of people who hold the kind of strength that defines humanity. This is not to say that we don’t break down and cry, because I certainty do. It’s just that no matter how bleak the situation or how tired we are, there is still hope. There will always be hope.

     Tonight, this post is for Jessica Rice, a girl battling stage IV lung cancer. Since finding her blog on the internet (http://stageiv.wordpress.com), she has been a constant source of inspiration for me. In a way, she has become almost like a tree that I lean on when I can’t hold myself up.

     This battle is so terribly hard. It’s so hard sometimes that I literally lie there gasping for air. But it’s okay. I know I also possess this incredible strength that is within Jessica and everyone else on this earth. 

When you might not make it out of the storm

"Don't wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain."

How to be a friend to a terminally ill patient:

1. Check in on them: Make sure they know that they are not forgotten. Whether it’s a ‘what’s up’ or a little card in the mail, it’s always nice to know that people are thinking of you

2. Keep up with their current medical status: When the patient tells you what type of medication/course of treatment they’re on, it doesn’t hurt to google some of the medical terms so that you have a better understanding of what's going on.

3. Don’t distance yourself: Sometimes a cancer patient is very fatigued or just not feeling well so they will respond very little to attempts to connect with friends. In this case don’t give up! They just need a little extra coaxing. Maybe try emailing them or sending them something through the mail.

4. Be hopeful, but realistic about your friend’s disease: Don’t undermine the seriousness by being like ‘oh you’ll be fine’. Understand that this is a tough journey that you can be part of by helping your friend accept the reality and deal with all the issues that comes with having a terminal illness.

5. Be forgiving and understanding: You’re friend will have many bad days. They may lash out unexpectedly or be very sensitive about small issues. Keep in mind that they are going through the toughest battle of their life. Often, just a little time is all they need to sort out their emotions. Let me give you an example. I was admitted to the hospital with bad pain a while ago. A friend texted me something very normal, but because I was just having a terrible time, I vented my anger out on her even though she had nothing to do with what I was going through. She understood though, and started texting me a whole bunch of silly stuff that made me laugh and feel a whole lot better.

6. Do not complain about your issues (unless they’re actually significant) because your friend will probably give up both of their legs to be in your situation.

7. Send them little things to brighten their day: Personally, I love getting stuff in the mail! They’re like little bursts of sunshine during the day.

8. Offer your knowledge: Maybe you know of some herbal medication that’s suppose to protect the liver! That’s a really helpful piece of information! Or You could offer home remedies for nausea or general tips for chemo diets. Whatever knowledge you have, many patients will appreciate you sharing them.

9. Last but not least, let them know that they are not alone in this. They have an army that will stand by them no matter what happens. 

You are going to be okay

     Whether you’re having a hard time getting that 4.0 that’s going to get you  into medical school, or you’re going through a bad breakup or maybe your health is failing you. Whatever the case, you will be okay. You’re going through a rough patch right now and it probably hurts. It’ll hurt tomorrow and maybe the day after. But one day, you’ll wake up and it’ll hurt just a little bit less.

     Wherever this road leads you to is where you are meant to go. Perhaps this means becoming an architect rather than a doctor. Perhaps this means forgetting him because there’s someone else waiting for you. Perhaps this means your book is ending and you are writing the last sentence. Whatever the case, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Smile. No, not that forced muscle movement that you call a smile. Think of something or someone that you love. Smile. You are going to be okay. 

"Perservere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come"

"Happiness keeps you sweet. Trials keep you strong. Sorrows keep you human. Failures keep you humble. Success keeps you growing."

Heya!

     I’m sorry I haven’t been posting very regularly. Things have been a little bit extra tough recently. As some of you know, I was admitted to the hospital a couple of weeks ago for pain and fever. I underwent 10 days of radiation, which helped with the pain, but created it’s own bags of problems. I’m home now and undergoing a new set of chemo medication. So far, there’s very little reaction from the chemo, but I’m expecting a lot worse from the drugs that I will be getting this Friday (mainly bone and muscle pain).

     Also, for the past week, I’ve just not been myself. I would spend most of the day in bed because of pain and I would cry. Normally, I have an ‘okay, let’s do this’ kind of attitude and I try to put my emotions aside until the storm has blown over. It’s just for the last little while, I’ve found it really hard to ‘suck it up’ and deal with this. I know the main reason for my little freak outs is the pain. Seriously this shit can get really bad. I’m on a lot of heavy narcotics but it’s still not under control. I also feel really tired. It’s not the kind of tiredness that goes away with a good night’s sleep. It’s the 'I’ve had enough' kind of feeling. I’ve never been good at long distance in track and field, and this is a heck of a long journey. Sorry for the downer. I just needed to get this out of my system. I promise the next post will be a lot lighter!