How to be a friend to a terminally ill patient:

1. Check in on them: Make sure they know that they are not forgotten. Whether it’s a ‘what’s up’ or a little card in the mail, it’s always nice to know that people are thinking of you

2. Keep up with their current medical status: When the patient tells you what type of medication/course of treatment they’re on, it doesn’t hurt to google some of the medical terms so that you have a better understanding of what's going on.

3. Don’t distance yourself: Sometimes a cancer patient is very fatigued or just not feeling well so they will respond very little to attempts to connect with friends. In this case don’t give up! They just need a little extra coaxing. Maybe try emailing them or sending them something through the mail.

4. Be hopeful, but realistic about your friend’s disease: Don’t undermine the seriousness by being like ‘oh you’ll be fine’. Understand that this is a tough journey that you can be part of by helping your friend accept the reality and deal with all the issues that comes with having a terminal illness.

5. Be forgiving and understanding: You’re friend will have many bad days. They may lash out unexpectedly or be very sensitive about small issues. Keep in mind that they are going through the toughest battle of their life. Often, just a little time is all they need to sort out their emotions. Let me give you an example. I was admitted to the hospital with bad pain a while ago. A friend texted me something very normal, but because I was just having a terrible time, I vented my anger out on her even though she had nothing to do with what I was going through. She understood though, and started texting me a whole bunch of silly stuff that made me laugh and feel a whole lot better.

6. Do not complain about your issues (unless they’re actually significant) because your friend will probably give up both of their legs to be in your situation.

7. Send them little things to brighten their day: Personally, I love getting stuff in the mail! They’re like little bursts of sunshine during the day.

8. Offer your knowledge: Maybe you know of some herbal medication that’s suppose to protect the liver! That’s a really helpful piece of information! Or You could offer home remedies for nausea or general tips for chemo diets. Whatever knowledge you have, many patients will appreciate you sharing them.

9. Last but not least, let them know that they are not alone in this. They have an army that will stand by them no matter what happens.