I’m sorry I haven’t been
posting very regularly. Things have been a little bit extra tough recently. As
some of you know, I was admitted to the hospital a couple of weeks ago for pain
and fever. I underwent 10 days of radiation, which helped with the pain, but
created it’s own bags of problems. I’m home now and undergoing a new set of
chemo medication. So far, there’s very little reaction from the chemo, but I’m
expecting a lot worse from the drugs that I will be getting this Friday (mainly
bone and muscle pain).
Also, for the past week, I’ve just not been myself. I would spend most of the day in bed because of pain and I would cry.
Normally, I have an ‘okay, let’s do this’ kind of attitude and I try to put my
emotions aside until the storm has blown over. It’s just for the last little
while, I’ve found it really hard to ‘suck it up’ and deal with this. I know the
main reason for my little freak outs is the pain. Seriously this shit can get
really bad. I’m on a lot of heavy narcotics but it’s still not under control. I
also feel really tired. It’s not the kind of tiredness that goes away with a
good night’s sleep. It’s the 'I’ve had enough' kind of feeling. I’ve never been
good at long distance in track and field, and this is a heck of a long journey.
Sorry for the downer. I just needed to get this out of my system. I promise the
next post will be a lot lighter!
Hey Venissa,
ReplyDeleteI was talking with a friend of mine about you. He said he read every single post you wrote - which I'm sure is the case for many readers who have yet to comment. He said, "She is very strong." I cannot agree more. I'm sorry to hear that your pain will be getting worse, but you are strong, you can do it! People get better at long distance running through practice. I know this is not a pleasant practice at all, but you will get stronger and better through the practice! Because you've always done so, and we know that you are brave and hopeful. JIA YOU!!!